Discussion Report from the Joint Committee

"God Provides for God's People"
“Marriage is made for people, not people for marriage.” Such is one of the statements heard at a conference held by a mostly-Lutheran group from the Twin Cities. The group of twenty-four people gathered at Augsburg College in Minneapolis on April 23 to respond to the question, “What is God doing with marriage?”

For many of the participants, the question, “What is God doing with marriage?” carries special urgency in light of the current debate in both the church and secular society over same-sex marriage. The group was made up of parents of adult gay or lesbian children, gay and lesbian people (some single, some partnered), and heterosexuals. The discussion was hosted by the Joint Committee for Ministry to and with Gay and Lesbian Persons, their Families, and Friends, which is an official committee of both the Minneapolis and St. Paul Area Synods of the ELCA. The committee’s mission statement reads, “Trusting the reconciling grace of Christ, who has overcome all divisions, we provide support and opportunities for growth in faith and understanding to gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgendered persons, their families and friends, and to the church and its members.” Beverly Stratton, Professor of Religion at Augsburg College, led the discussion.

In materials written for the conference, Carolyn Pressler, Professor of Biblical Interpretation at United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, states that there is “little biblical basis . . . for the conservative view of marriage as a religiously sanctioned, unchanging institution defined by the private relationship between two individuals, a man and his wife.” Instead, Scripture depicts several different forms of marriage. In all these forms, the common core value is to preserve the resources needed for survival and the flourishing of family life and work. Pressler’s work is paralleled by the historical work of Tim Pippert, Associate Professor of Sociology at Augsburg College. In a paper written in preparation for the discussion, Pippert finds extensive evidence throughout human history that marriage has taken many forms, all of them grounded in economic model. “How food finds its way to the table determines the size and function of the family,” he writes.

That God provides for God’s people through marriage was a theme sounded numerous times during the group’s discussion. It was noted that Martin Luther and others during the Reformation presented a strong case that the institution of marriage provides a way of participating in the body of Christ, of being “of the mind of Christ,” and thereby doing good in the world through love, forgiveness, and care for the other. Procreation was not deemed a necessary function of marriage, according to Luther.

“We discover ourselves as children of God through our relationship with others,” said one participant. “Marriage sanctifies. The church should be about how we’re poured out in service for the other and in intimacy with the other, not about determining who can or cannot be allowed to give and receive that service and intimacy.”

Many of the participants witnessed to enormous grief in their encounters with the closed door of the church. Many spoke to the need for the church to understand, for its own sake and for the sake of those it tragically distances, that one’s spouse is one’s self, is part and parcel of one’s self, is “one flesh.” When the church does not accept you and your spouse, when you are told you-and-your-spouse cannot be blessed in the church and are not acceptable for ordination, then, almost literally, you are not accepted. This sentiment was echoed by the single GLBT participants as well.

In her paper written for the discussion, Marilyn Sharpe, Director of Christian Parenting and Intergenerational Ministry at the Youth & Family Institute in Bloomington, Minnesota, writes: “Denying marriage to GLBT couples seems to invite a double bind: You can’t marry, but because you have sex outside of marriage, you are promiscuous. God values commitment, but you are denied the ability to make that commitment in marriage and the recognition of your exclusive, loving, intimate relationship.”

Laura Boisen, Associate Professor of Social Work at Augsburg College, points out in her paper that denying homosexual couples the privileges automatically granted to their heterosexual counterparts has a direct, adverse effect on families. “The marginalization of gay and lesbian relationships places gay and lesbian families at risk for no other reason than the sexual orientation of the parents.” The church’s policies work against certain crucial characteristics of healthy families: i.e. “validation that the family is legitimate” and a “feeling of membership in a community.”

The group’s working assumption was that the best theology and discernment is done within the life of a gathered worshiping community. “Committees need to become communities,” said Loren Halvorson, Professor Emeritus of Pastoral Theology & Ministry, Luther Seminary (St. Paul, MN). To this end, the group intentionally created a community of laity, pastors, and academics, emphasizing the importance that all should feel comfortable sharing feelings, thoughts, experiences, hopes, and fears. They believe this process allows for a powerful experience of depth and of the Spirit opening up the believer to new vistas. Participants were invited to draw from all aspects of their personal, spiritual, and professional lives, sharing both what they know and what they wanted to learn from others. The group emphasized discussion and exploration, rather than mounting arguments and formulating conclusions. Prior to the event, participants were assigned to read papers written by four “resource people” representing various academic disciplines. These papers, as well as the worship that began and ended their day together, provided an important, shared background from which to engage their topic. Some of these papers can be found at http://jointcommittee.tripod.com.

The group takes its theological cues from basic Lutheran teaching. Lutherans are taught that God’s intention becomes known to us through God’s revelation in the crucified and risen Christ. God’s intention is revealed through suffering and the Cross, through faithful engagement with the lives of God’s people as they are lived. This revelation is both the beginning and the end of Lutheran theology, and so it must form the beginning and end of how the church goes about the task of discussing any topic, including marriage. For this reason, the group took special care to drop the perceived pretension of the question, “What does God want us to do with marriage?” and instead asked, “What is God already doing with marriage? If our justification is by faith alone—if it is true, as Luther writes, that this doctrine ‘alone begets, nourishes, builds, preserves, and defends’—then we realize that God’s work in human marriage is out ahead of us.” The group discussed how God’s work is not confined to those structures we presume are the spaces of divine operation, but is active outside and beyond our road maps for God. New signs of life are frequently found in unexpected places.

In small group discussion, one participant said she feels it takes a certain leap of faith to truly believe what we say in our communion liturgy: Jesus is recognized as our brother in the breaking of the bread. “What defines ‘family’ cannot be mere biology or sexuality,” she said, “but rather it must be our love and care that we can share because of Christ. If Christ is my brother because of what he did for me, then how can the church not define my family by how we care for each other? When I am told a family is a family solely because of its biological arrangement, then in essence I am told Christ isn’t really my flesh-and-blood brother.”

“Same-sex marriage is calling the church to something deeper,” said one heterosexual man. “Some straights are afraid of same-sex marriage because it tends to expose their marriages as something less than they should have been. Same-sex marriage shines a pretty bright light on the often hurtful assumptions of too-rigid gender roles. Many straights—especially women—have been deeply hurt by the church’s impoverished support for marital intentionality and mutuality. Our image of ourselves as a church has been far too smug.”

Respectfully submitted,

The Joint Committee
Minneapolis/St. Paul
April 2005